Monday, May 10, 2010

In which I rant about whoppers and socialism

We have small group every Sunday night. We enjoy dinner together each week and then all of the children, ages toddler to teenager, fellowship together downstairs while we adults have our study. Two Sundays ago, it was our family's turn to bring dinner.

You know me, I'm a culinary expert in the kitchen, with tons of free time on my hands to cook for a houseful of people. Hahahahahah. Or, not. So, on this particular Sunday, we left for small group early so we could swing by Burger King. I figured Whoppers and fries would be a sure crowd pleaser.

I wanted to purchase 48 whoppers and 48 large fries that night.

The following is, no exaggeration, just ask my husband who was right beside me in the car the whole time, a relatively accurate documentation of the transaction that ensued:

Me: "Hi! I'd actually like to get 48 Whoppers and 48 fries right now please!"

BK lady: "48???"

Me: "Yes, please. 48!!!" I smile.

BK lady: "Uummmm...." she looks around. "Just a minute." The BK lady walks away.

From behind the fryer, I can hear her talking to another woman.

BK lady: "Say, there is a lady out here who wants 48 Whoppers and 48 fries right now."

BK lady remains behind the fryer while the head chef or BK manager or whoever she was exactly comes to the register where I'm waiting.

Head chef lady: "So, what is it that we can help you with?"

Me: "Oh, I'd just like you to make me 48 whoppers and 48 fries right now."

Long pause in which head chef lady just looks at me.

Head chef lady: "Are you having an impromptu party or something?" She smiles.

Me: "Not really. We're heading to small group with people from our church, and I'm supposed to bring dinner for everyone!" I smile.

Head chef lady: "Well, it would really be easier if you'd call ahead when you had such a big order."

Me: "Oh, um, I'm sorry. I didn't think of that."

Head chef lady: "Yeah, with wanting so much, it would be much better if you called ahead. You know, just to make sure we had enough."

Me: "Oh, I didn't really know what I was going to get. I just came in to see what you had enough of. It didn't have to be Whoppers. I could've gotten a bunch of chicken tenders or something. But, seeing as you do have enough Whoppers for me, that's what I'd like to get. Please."

Head chef lady: "Oh. Well, okay. I suppose you can have it your way."

Me: "Of course I can. I always do"

Head chef lady walks away. BK lady reappears. BK lady does not make eye contact. BK lady starts making up whoppers one at a time and packing them into boxes. As she's packing, a customer walks up to the counter and makes eye contact with BK lady.

Customer: "I'd like a Whopper meal, please. With fries."

I anticipate the BK lady saying, "I'm helping this customer incredible being of light and splendor, but I'll be with you in a moment!" or "Oh, we just sold the last of our Whoppers, but more will be ready in about ten minutes if you'd like to wait?" But that is not what she says. I swear I'm not making this stuff up. There is a pause after the customer's order and then the BK lady looks at me like she's waiting for me to answer the lady.

BK lady: "Well? Can she?"

Me: "Oh! Well, um, sure. I'm sure there will still be plenty left for everyone in our group." I was seriously happy to share a Whopper.

The BK lady proceeds to give the customer a Whopper and fries, including one fries that was already in my box since she'd already packed all of those. I tried very hard not to let my jaw go slack at everything that was transpiring.

When I told my husband about what had happened, he mumbled something under his breath about socialism, which was ironically the exact word one of the other husbands in our small group said when I retold the Burger King story upon arriving at our pastor's house.

Without Because I love drawing inappropriate or dramatic parallels, I must say that what happened to me at Burger King is very much a microcosm of a socialist government. A type of government of which I happen to not be a fan!!! Now granted, the one point at which the BK example deviates from true socialism lies in the moment that the BK lady asked me if she could give a Whopper I'd already committed to purchasing to the customer who came up behind me. In true socialism, I wouldn't have had a say. If the leaders, in this case the BK lady and head chef, deemed that the someone was deserving of my Whopper, I would be legally forced to give it up. Or, I could have been, as I almost was, preventing from buying what the leaders considered "too much" in the first place. I think that is such a backwards way of governing and running an economy that I can hardly even wrap my mind around it.

Now listen to my heart, here while I give you another example of bailouts that are a lot like socialism and therefore I hate. Let's say I bought a house. Or maybe even two houses. I had just enough money to get a home loan at the time, and I made my monthly payments. Then imagine the economy takes a nosedive. My husband loses work, our child falls ill, we bought a bunch of useless crap like jet skis and fancy cars, and we just can't make the housing payments. Even worse, the housing market has imploded and our house is no longer worth enough to sell it and pay off the loan.

Now, because I hate socialism and I hate bailouts, what SHOULD happen is that the bank should take and sell our house and we should be on the hook for the rest of the money we owe on the loan, right? Of course! I wouldn't have it any other way because I am not a fan of making society at large pay for one person's financial mistakes!!! It would be absolutely ridiculous for me to expect my neighbors and others to pay the price for my financial irresponsibility, wouldn't it? But I know what you're thinking: it wouldn't be very fair to me to force me to pay more money for the house than it was worth, would it?

No, it wouldn't be fair. I don't think a legalized, enforced "fairness for all" is the way to handle things in an economy. If I earned my own money by exploiting my children through blogging, got to Burger King and wanted to buy all the Whoppers, it shouldn't matter. What happens to everyone else who might want Whoppers later shouldn't be forced by my political superiors to be my responsibility. Similarly, if I can't make my housing payments, my neighbors and society at large shouldn't be forced to pay the price. But that is exactly what happens in socialism and it is, sadly, the direction I see our great nation heading. Have you SEEN all the foreclosures and bailouts happening lately???

Argh! This is not the hallmark of a healthy society, in my opinion.

But doesn't everyone deserve a Whopper (or an expensive home)!? Shouldn't what happens to everyone else who might want to buy Whoppers (or houses) later actually be my concern, too? Before you go rolling your eyes and calling me an entitled Whopper hoarder who doesn't care for her fellow man, let me correct you. I most certainly do! I very much want the customer in line behind me to have Whoppers, and Miichelle and her family to have Whoppers, and my neighbors who are struggling and the people at homeless shelters downtown. They do deserve Whoppers, and houses, absolutely!!!

But to steal from the rich (ME ME ME!) and give to the poor is no model I think we ought to follow. Instead, I'd love to see our country inspire the rich to want to reach the poor whilst creating an economy where everyone can earn their own Whoppers, and can do with their fast food earnings whatever they want.

At least, that's what I think. What do you think?


  1. FIRSTIES!!1!1!

  2. You are so wise and insightful! I'm going to start living beyond our means right NOW!

  3. I think you need to find something a little more productive to do with your time.... just sayin.

  4. I am so excited! I love your philosophy, and am having a sit down with my DH tonight & run these brilliant ideas by him. I think they are amazing and you are so smart to do them.

    I see no earthly reason why we couldn't let our home go into foreclosure, and buy this big, fancy, beyond-our-means house I've spied a few miles from here. Perfect solution to get us into a bigger home! After all, if the BQ & the King can do, it must be a good thing, right? Placing the burden on society instead of paying for that silly house we're in now is just foolish. It doesn't make good financial sense.

    I am getting so excited at the thought of buying more furniture to fill up this new house (if things work out ok).

    Off to call DH right now! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Bless you, and PTL! Keep walking that walk!

  5. Anon 10:52, the very same thing can be said for you and your time...just sayin.

  6. Anon @10:32 am:

    Don't you think that being able to reach thousands of young mothers daily, with tips on child rearing, cooking, photography, finances, submitting to a DH, religion, and insightful politics, is productive?! You've evidently not seen the light yet!

    I'll say a prayer for you.

  7. Bwha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!


  8. Another inspiring post! That's the best explanation of socialism I've ever read. You're living proof that you don't need fancy degrees to educate people about complex issues - all you need is a trip to BK! You should team up with Sarah Palin - you two could set this country straight and share some of your fantastic recipes on the side. Mooseburgers and Texas Caviar in 2012!

  9. BQ, you are so brilliant! How can I be more like you and, more importantly, give birth to children as cute as yours?!?!?!?!?!?

  10. I think you should call the manager and get the BK lady fired. That food is for sale to anyone and she shouldn't have given your food away to someone else. You're such a good, forgiving person that I'm ashamed for not trusting that your naked feet post was really about spirituality and humbling yourself. You are just so humble that it makes my eyes water from sheer love. And I'm hyperventilating over how wise you are. Now I finally understand socialism and will vote against anyone who thinks we should do something for other giving them someone else's whoppers.

  11. Thank you for helping me--a naive sheeple--learn what socialism really means. You are so caring and giving, that horrible BK worker was so wrong in her attitude. I am praying she loses her job. Because of your wonderful advice, my hubby and I are walking away from this house. I need (WANT) a bigger, nicer house. You are such an inspiration! I LOVE YOU!