Monday, May 31, 2010

Rules Were Made to be Broken. As Long as They Don't Apply to ME.

I have a love/hate relationship with rules.

On one hand, I love rules. I need them. Rules like the ones that say I go to heaven but all the Jews who died in the Holocaust without accepting Jesus go straight to hell? GOOD RULE. It's completely unwavering, makes TOTAL sense, and we cannot question it or interpret it. Me? Heaven! You? Hell! That's why I'm a born again Christian.

On the other hand, I hate rules. Rules that say I have to pay for things I purchase? BAD RULE. That rule makes no sense at all, am I right? Luckily, there is a way around it and I will let you know what it is right now.

The Burger QUEEN philosophy on rules boils down to this: I always follow them!!! The catch? I only follow the ones that apply to me.

You know that rule about paying your bills on time? Doesn't apply to Burger Queen!

The one about following directions posted on official signs (keep off the grass, etc)? That one doesn't apply to me if it's a really great spot for a picture. Otherwise I totally follow it.

The ones put in place by our government to ensure our safety - like no pictures in the customs line? Luckily that one doesn't apply to me either because we don't believe in big government (tea party, yeah!). Likewise, many of the laws in this country don't apply to the Burger King, so he doesn't have to follow them. Things like speed limits, fishing licenses, window tinting, not threatening physical violence against your wife...those rules make no sense!!!

The rules about waiting your turn for your plane to take off? Doesn't apply to me or my moderately ill child - and I'm glad air traffic controllers in this country recognize that!

Speaking of air traffic controllers: the rules on airplanes? Those are just the worst and make the least sense. I mean really, why do you have to be 15 to sit in an emergency exit row??? The BK children need more leg room than the average child and I'm sure the stewardess will recognize that next time we fly.

Sometimes it's tough figuring out which rules apply to me and which rules don't. My simple test is "do I like this rule?" If the answer is yes, I must follow it, no exceptions!

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